Turn-Talking For Relationships

Effective communication in relationship happens when you take time to slow down and listen to each other. When you listen attentively to your partner then you will hear and understand their wants and needs. You may discover affection, patience and closeness that you’ve never known before.

Turn-Talking is a tool to help you communicate more effectively – to hear and understand each other and reflect deeply on your own internal thinking and feeling processes. I recommend you do this exercise once a day, initially, then as often as you require it.

The rules are as follows:

  1. Remove all distractions (TV, mobile phones, books, magazines, etc). You must give each other your full attention.
  2. One person speaks and the other will listen, then swap over. Decide who will start first. Whoever started first last time should start second next time. The speaker speaks for 10 uninterrupted minutes while the listener just listens. By uninterrupted, I mean that the listener may not speak, make gestures, facial expressions, noises, use bodylanguage, etc to communicate in any way.
  3. Both people must be fully committed to the conversation – neither may get up and do other things.
  4. The speaker may ONLY describe how they feel – no accusations are allowed.